Today I have a bit of mixed emotions. I got my Progesterone test results back. They are 23.6 – so just a tiny bit better than last months (21). I am a bit sad about it but should be happy because it exceeds the >15 that Dr. H wants. But I feel that because it’s not such a higher number that my chances of being pregnant has diminished. I have been trying to remain hopeful but with complete lack of symptoms and the number being about the same as last cycles which ended in BFN – I lost all my hope for this month. I am quite sad about it. Mixed in with the emotions that I should be out of work now and giving birth any day now makes it an even harder pill to swallow.

I am also a bit mad at myself for cancelling Tim’s appt – it should be tomorrow. Now we have to wait til AF comes – then I can talk to Dr. H and we will be able to set up an appt for him to have the analysis done. I almost feel like getting the results sooner is worth the extra money but it’s too late at this point. Oh well. I should have known that I would feel this way.

Today, Tim and I are having a hard day. TTC for all these months with the disappointment and heartache sometimes puts a strain on us. Today is that day. I am upset and emotional.

I can’t wait to go home and hang out with Snugs. I need some furry love.

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